AntiHen's night
by Feigningintrest
Summary: Hermione's been dumped instead of proposed to. In an effort to cheer her up Ginny plans an "anti-Hen's night". But why is Malfoy, dressed as a fire-fighter? T for Teen, nothing to crazy, but still funny :


**A/N: This story has finally been gone over by a BETA, my wonderful Linthilde, and now it looks pretty :) and there's a whole lot less spelling/grammar issues.**

**I just joined a wish list community on LJ and though I haven't posted my own list yet I was hoping I could fulfill someone else's wish so this is for vegetasbubble.**

**The prompt was... Draco/Hermione- A sexy hens night interrupted by a fire-fighter stripper. I hope that the wish was granted and this was everything the wisher hoped for. **

**There was no rating suggested, so I tried to keep it slightly mellow just in case.**

"It's been months Hermione. I know Ron's my brother and I love him, but he was a total prat. He chose quidditch like an arse and now it's time for you to move on. We're going out tonight, even if I have to _Stupefy_ you and dress you myself." Ginny said in an authoritative voice, her blue eyes boring into Hermione's, while Hermione sat with her arms crossed face set in a scowl.

"This has nothing to do with Ronald. I just don't see the appeal in drinking far too much, and running around town until all hours of the morning." Hermione huffed.

"Well of course you don't. You've never done it. But I assure you this night is going to be fun. Now I need you to get your arse off this sofa, while we go into that closet and find my sexiest outfit because Merlin knows none of yours will do. Let's GO!" Ginny dragged Hermione off the sofa and pushed her unceremoniously into her bedroom closet.

Two hours, three screaming matches, two hysterical fits, one near cat fight later, and finally the ordeal was over. Hermione stood in the middle of Ginny's sitting room in a pair of form fitting dark jeans, silver stiletto sandals, and a dark blue flowing halter top. Her hair was pin-straight, which Ginny thought might be able to help her have more fun, since she didn't look like "know-it-all Granger" tonight. Her perfectly lined and defined brown eyes held nothing but contempt for her friend, and her shining pink lips formed the perfect scowl. "I look ridiculous, and I'm going to kill myself with these shoes," she complained.

"Oh suck it up. You look fantastic, and you're going to have a good time tonight if I have to _Avada_ myself to make you smile," Ginny said as she stepped into the room in a short black dress and red accessories.

"I may just collect on that latest promise of yours... Now let's get this over with." Hermione said as she walked out the door.

The leaky cauldron seemed the perfect start to the evening, Hermione sat surrounded by Ginny, Lavender Brown, the Patil twins, Luna Lovegood and Cho Chang. Ginny was calling it Hermione's Anti-Hen night and the Hogwarts Reunion night. Hermione attempted to point out that most of them had only been out of school for a year, while Ginny and Luna only a month or so, and they all saw each other at least once a week. Ginny waved her off and handed her a glass of what she thought was Gilly Water. The first sip however burned terribly and she was sure there was far more alcohol than water. She shrugged and drank it down, resigning herself to at least trying to have fun, and the worst that could happen was that she got too drunk and Ginny would have to take her home.

"Hermione..." Ginny voice trailed off as she took Hermione's arm and smiled brightly, in a way that suggested she was up to no good.

"Absolutely not! There isn't enough alcohol in the world to make me do whatever is inspiring that look of yours!" Hermione declared.

"Oh stop it. We're moving to our next 'Event.' It's not really your normal thing but I think once you get into it you're going to love it." Ginny explained, but the fact that she still had that smile on her face kept Hermione on edge.

"Where are we going?" Hermione asked.

Ginny looked to the other girls for help, but they looked away, unwilling to be the one to break the news. "I'd rather not tell you just yet..." Ginny said cautiously.

"I don't like this one bit." Hermione shook her head.

Ginny pulled her from the stool that she was perched on and dragged her towards the door. "It'll be fun I promise."

Hermione sceptically followed them all down Diagon Alley. They finally stopped in front of a plain building with a simple unimposing sign that read 'Lounge.' Hermione didn't understand what the big deal had been. This actually looked exactly like her style, quiet, simple and relaxed. Of course, when the bouncer finally opened the doors, the sounds of yelling women and deafening music immediately assaulted her ears.

Hermione stood there in shock. And Ginny, being the loving friend she was, used that moment to push her forcefully into the club. Hermione's mouth fell open and she shook her head forcefully. "NOT OVER MY DEAD BODY!!!" She screeched over the music. Then she caught sight of a half naked wizard as he strutted around the stage. "Let me out NOW!"

Ginny just man-handled her further into the club, then all the girls forced her into a chair at the table just in front of the stage. Ginny motioned for Lavender to watch Hermione as she went to the bar. She came back with a pint glass filled with very strong Gilly Water and a straw that she promptly sat in front of Hermione. "Drink," she commanded.

It wasn't until one hour and two more strong drinks later, that Hermione was finally having fun. She was whooping and cheering with the other women around her, even if half of what she was yelling made no sense.

After a particularly well built 'Cowboy' threw his hat at a blushing Lavender, the lights went down again. After a moment or two, the sounds of a Muggle fire engine filled the room, and some of the women cheered. Red and blue lights filled the stage, twirling around as if to mimic the warning lights. Amidst the raucous, a tall lean wizard clad in a fireman's uniform and helmet swaggered onto the stage. Hermione was sure she knew that swagger but brushed it off as the Gilly Water, and continued to yell indistinct things about hoses with the other women. The dancer took off each part of the uniform slowly and torturously, exposing pale marble skin and highly defined muscles inch by inch, skin oiled to shine and glisten under the hot lights.

Hermione felt extremely taken with this particular man. Not just because he was absolutely gorgeous. He had his back to the audience as he slowly dragged the helmet forward, and when it finally came off Hermione's eyes widened comically. The shock of white-blond hair proved that she had known that swagger, and all too well. It had been involved in several of her worst school memories.

Draco Malfoy was up on a strip club stage, almost completely starkers, and he had been making her sweat. She shivered as the sweat turned to ice, and she shook violently. None of the other girls had recognized the hair, but when he spun to face them six unified gasps rung out. Each girl saw his sharp features, and recognized his piercing grey eyes.

He didn't appear to recognise any of them as he strode over to their side of the stage and stared directly into Hermione's eyes. He smirked at her and she nearly fell off her chair. That wasn't the smirk that he normally directed at her, because that was the one she had seen him give girls as he pulled them into empty class rooms and broom cupboards. It couldn't be _that _smirk! That would mean he was hitting on her!!

Ginny quickly grabbed Hermione's hand and dragged her away from the stage, neither of them willing to speak, or able to pull their eyes from the stage no matter how far away they got. The music began to fade and Draco made his way from the stage to allow the next performer to work the crowd. Hermione asked the bartender for another very large, very strong drink and tried to violently shake the images she had just seen from her addled brain. Draco Malfoy, the half-naked, extremely hot, fireman.

The rest of the girls hurried over to Hermione and Ginny as soon as Draco was off the stage, and their disappearance was noted.

"WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED!" Cho yelled. "Please tell me that was NOT who I thought it was?" Her typically shy and quiet demeanour was thrown out the window by a combination of shock and alcohol.

"I'm quite sure that was Draco Malfoy." Luna said, as even her typical dreamy tone faltered slightly. This was the most shaken any of the girls ever heard her. After all, this was a girl who believed in nonexistent creatures, and even she was in disbelief.

"He's grown up," was all Lavender managed to say.

Padma and Parvati seemed still too shocked to speak, and Hermione abandoned the straw and gulped her drink, hoping it would wash the memories away.

After she successfully downed half her drink, she looked to the other girls and each of them looked even more shocked then before. "What? Is Harry up there dressed as Voldemort?" But before she could even turn to look a deep voice whispered in her ear.

"I was hoping you'd still be here." The glass slid from between her fingers, and as it shattered on the floor she was sure that her heart had stopped. She turned slowly to face him, relieved to see he'd put on jeans and an oxford shirt, even if the shirt was only partially unbuttoned. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to startle you." He said, taking a step closer and resting his hand on her shoulder. Unnoticed by the girls, he signalled the bartender and flicked his wand at the broken glass and puddle on the floor.

"I... You, uh, Malfoy?" She stammered.

"I'm sure we've never met, for I would recognise and certainly remember someone as beautiful as you." She assumed that her hair and outfit may have made her unrecognizable, but the other girls looked no different than they had just a year ago. He leaned in closer to whisper into her ear, and she felt as if her heart rate went from nearly non-existent to trying to hammer out of her chest. "I've always liked brunettes, and I must say straight hair is very becoming on you..." he paused to nip at her earlobe, "Granger." She put up her hands and made an attempt to shove him away. He just pulled her back. He smirked over at her friends, who watched in fascinated horror, "Hello Weaslette, Loony, Patils, Brown, Chang."

Hermione turned to Ginny and found her voice, "Tell me I've had too much to drink, and this is some hallucination that comes with alcohol poisoning."

Ginny shook her head, "It wouldn't be as surreal as this is. And I haven't had nearly as much to drink as you, and I'm seeing it too."

"He's not still standing there. He's had his fun and he's walked away, right?" Hermione asked, her voice breathy and pleading.

"No Granger, I'm still here. Though I must say of all the familiar faces I've seen since I took up my little hobby, I never thought I would ever see yours. So let's see the ring, since I'm under the assumption that you're the guest of honour at this little shindig. The Weasel works quickly." He laughed, grabbing her left hand and pulling it up to inspect it. "He didn't even buy you a ring! And I heard he'd finally made himself a small fortune signing with Ireland's quidditch team." He raised a perfectly groomed eyebrow at her.

"I'm not engaged." She snarled, regaining some of her lost footing at the jibe from Malfoy, and yanking her hand from his. He smirked and seemed to take that as an invitation.

"Really? Well that's a relief." He drawled, leaning into her.

"Oh drop it Malfoy. We're leaving." She turned to Ginny and the others and pointed towards the door. They all began to walk towards it quickly, but in her drunken haste she tripped over her own feet. '_Stupid bloody shoes_,' she thought, but before she could catch herself on Ginny's shoulder a strong arm wound around her hips and steadied her. She looked up and her breath caught. Their eyes locked, and if she hadn't been painfully aware of who it was, he would be rather gorgeous. "Thank you," she muttered before she successfully wriggled out of his grasp and walked towards the door.

"Good night, Hermione," He called after her, clearly amused.

~*~*~*~

The next morning Hermione woke up on Ginny's couch, while she hoped beyond hope that last night had just been some horrible nightmare. However, when she attempted to sit up, the splitting headache and rapidly churning stomach confirmed her fears. She slowly put her feet on the floor and stood. When her balance finally settled she made her way to the kitchen.

Ginny was sitting at the table, with the coffee pot in front of her and an empty cup and a vile of hangover potion by Hermione's usual spot. "Good to see you're still breathing and have regained consciousness," she laughed.

Hermione swallowed the potion quickly, pulling a face at the bitter taste. "It wasn't a nightmare was it? That really happened. Draco Malfoy dressed as a fireman, oiled and beautiful?"

"I'm afraid so. He really was rather beautiful, wasn't he?" Ginny mused dreamily.

Before Hermione could tell her to shut up, there was a sharp knock at the front door and she nearly jumped out of her own skin. "I thought Harry was out of town?" She glanced at Ginny who looked just as startled.

"He is. I didn't expect him back until sometime next week." Ginny said, as she got up to answer the door.

Hermione remained at the table, shaking her head and trying to wrap her mind around the previous night, until Ginny called her name.

"Who is it?" She asked as she got up from the table. She turned the corner to face the front door, and there he was, blond and smirking. In an impeccably tailored muggle business suit. "What the hell are you doing here?" she asked before she could control her self.

"Now is that anyway to greet a guest?" He taunted. "I was in the area for a meeting, I ran into Luna and she mentioned you had stayed here last night. I though I'd check up on you. I had wondered if you would make it through the night," he laughed.

"Well I'm terribly sorry to disappoint but despite your best efforts to give me a heart attack, I'm still here." Her hangover was entirely gone but for some strange reason the room had started to spin again.

Ginny had left the room, and he'd stepped in and closed the door. She was convinced that the walls had started to close in on her. '_Shouldn't he be the one embarrassed?_' She thought to herself, but then she realised that she was dressed in naught but a pair of Harry's pants rolled over at the waist and a barely existent tank top, with no makeup and her still straight hair pulled up into a knot on the top of her head. She blushed furiously, and was shaking like a leaf.

"Last night's outfit was great, but I think I prefer this one," he laughed getting closer to her.

And then the walls closed in even tighter. She stared at him in utter shock. "What are you playing at?"

He laughed a little and managed to step even closer. He looked down into her eyes for a split second before he leaned in and slanted his lips over hers. She was too shocked to react, so she just stood there while he kissed her. When he pulled back he told her, "I'm not playing at anything. And next time, they'll be my pants."

Before she could register what had just happened, he handed her a business card and gave her _that_ smirk, making her heart skip a beat, and walked back out the front door.

Hermione could do nothing but stare after him. "Why a muggle fireman?" She wondered aloud to herself. She'd have to make use of his card now, or the curiosity would simply take over her mind.


End file.
